Control Me? Control Me Not.

Control tastes like the finest wine... for awhile.
How I have loved drinking her and loved the wrong things.
Her pursuit is in what could be hers if she's manipulative... instead of certainty.
Discontent with what is
She slides around my heart like sea snakes
Making discernment so hard because it only expands with space.

She catches me with tightness when I close my eyes for the night
Whispering the greatest nothingness I've ever heard.
Shallow, infested waters full of lies of which I'm ready to purge.
Trying to tell me this life isn't the birthing pains of the next
Instead it is Spiritless, hatred and regret.

She tells me I'm suppose to scavenge the earth to find who I am not
Then binge on pointless thoughts that distort every prayer.
Concerned wisdom traded in for suffocating cares.

Chasing prideful false prophecies over the humility of reminiscing and knowing Christ.
Cowering defences come out to play at night..
With snakes.

Yea, I know.
It's fair enough, these years of tormenting have been a lot to take
But don't frustrate truth with what's easier to feel and say.
Like we'll search for healing tomorrow, confession always due another day away.

The storm is mighty and there's much it will shake
Sometimes sitting, waiting and hoping is the only way to see its fury break
The tormenting of control cannot grip me for long anymore
She violently looks for a host and I will not let her encase.

Though she may try to visit, she may never stay.
How can she with the presence of Messianic freedom?
A gift now deep inside me to be found everyday.

I no longer care for guilty arguments of how I shouldn't rest because the devil never sleeps
I was intended to find peace and believe in Higher Authority that protects and casts sea snakes back into the sea.
And I won't scavenge the earth for identity
But I'll eagerly feed off the crumbs of Heaven where I am.

Discernment will strengthen us to find there's nothing new under the sun
So cast your cares, this is a race that has already been run.

Claim what is yours and who you are for every sacrifice He has given.
Insist that snakes slither elsewhere, His protection is freeing even when strange sea creatures try to visit.

It's here we are truly free
Listening, waiting, sitting, speaking, responding, living patiently and with aging wisdom and sensitivity.